it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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