The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
