so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
