Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
