Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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