you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
