you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
