Four minutes until I can fart!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize