Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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