Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
