Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize