No, you can still breathe under the balls.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
