i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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