I'm so fucking centered right now
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
