Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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