i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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