So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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