Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
