its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
