Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize