garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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