as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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