I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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