fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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