My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
