If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
