the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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