There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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