Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
