Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize