nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
