Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
