I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
