Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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