I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
