So drunk its hurt
look no pants
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
