dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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