what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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