i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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