He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
