The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
