my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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