i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
