For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
