dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
