Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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