I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
