from now on my penis is your penis
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize