this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
