Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
