What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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