Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
