Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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