Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
PANTIES FOUND
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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