Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
