90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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