and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
