It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
