If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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