i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
