that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize