Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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