Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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