I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize