Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
