How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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